hello there, th blog that no one reads. really tempted to change my url rn. but. nah. ive been living my entire life with this so imma stick to it till i die or something.

weekends are over. and it seems like it was only yesterday i knocked off work early, excited to leave for the weekends. but it makes no difference. i had another two more days off before my next working day.

saturday flew by because all i did was went to MBS fr an IT show jam packed with th entire human nation. and its not helping at th fact that, theyre gna increase th population here to 6.9million. srsly, anymore humans they add into this country and we'll sink into oblivion. and thats gna be a tragedy. and if i were to survive that catastrophe, i'd go to th government's face and start clapping my hand loudly saying. "wow, thats really sad. you lost your entire nation."
we ate seoul garden, th my boy's best buds. and we literally spent 2 hours stuffing ourselves with food. oh yeahhhhh~

sunday was impromptu baking session with sister and the boy. we baked red velvet cupcakes. okay. more like i baked them cupcakes with help form them. because i got abandoned half way through. not like i mind it or anything. because its baking.

it turned out rly nice. and for a girl who does not eat what she baked, i ate quite a few. im actually amazed myself.


and right now, i'm signing into msn talking to the dear boy. it was actually a random and crazy idea of yours truly. that we'd all log into our old dusty msn to chat for once. remember when whatsapp did not exist at all and all group chats were done online on msn. and more often than not, in school you'd hear "I SEE YOU ONLINE LATER AH!" before we left school. and it was one of the most important platform of discussion for projects and easiest way to transfer images and files. remember those good ol' times?

being the sweet boy he already is, he just agreed to it. despite him having to install in back into his computer, he did it anyways and here we are having classic convos you guys always have when there was msn. but he isnt replying me rn and im desperately nudging him. okay no. theyre not letting me send a nudge anymore. HAHA.

i've been reminiscing on my past entries. on random ones that is. because, 'aint nobody got time for that.' and wow. look at how ive matured. how ive changed. how i used to be all smiles and bubbly with occasional emotional breakdown. i write like a kid like i aint got no care in a world. how i used to think that im always right and the rebel kid who thought my parents never understood me. when i used to think love was everything i could ever have and love was enough to sustain my future.

well. take a look at me now.

i've always been afraid if my day goes along all too perfect, too afraid to be truly genuinely happy because in the end, it might take a drastic turn and i might end up crying myself to sleep. i write like i had wisdom from prof. dumbledore  [deceased] and i was never right all along, about life. and that my parents were th only ones that understand me because theyve went through much much much more in life than i have. and love does not mean everything. unless its from your family. because that love is unconditional. so we'll make that an exception. so. love does not amount to anything if falling in love is merely a change of relationship status. it cannot sustain your future because you dont graduate collage with your lover's love nor do you get paid by loving them. well if it does, i'd take that job.

i learnt that th world is a beautiful place. its never hurtful or cruel. it's the people who lives on it that makes th face of the world ugly. made it one hell of a place to be in. reality is cruel because i choose to believe it. its hard because im afraid of taking chances. and i'm stagnant because i wouldn't seize the day like its my last living breathe.  i'm hurt because i let down my defenses. i was never brave enough. never having enough courage. i'm lazy- always procrastinating. and i'm already regretting some choices i made wrong. but i'm not going to live everyday regretting, because theres many other decisions that i made right that lead me to who and what i am right now.

i'm surviving today because i choose to believe that theres more in store ahead of me. i cnt deny that sometimes i wna re-write my past. live in th time hanna was th fifteen year old girl, naive about love and my clique were all that matters to me. grades was th only thing important and money was just a teeny bit pleading and puppy dog eye away.

but what has pass is history.

well let's see how much these more these world can push me until i reached my limit. because as of now. i think if anything i got stronger from my past. even if its th slightest. i did change. and i like how my past experiences mould this hanna today.

i guess this is what they mean by
"we learn from our mistakes."